I was stationed in England with the Air Force when I went to a local barber. I told him that I had a date that night and asked for a very close shave. After working his magic, the barber exclaimed, “There you go, Yank. If you want it any closer than that, you’ll have to bite ’em off from the inside.”
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A friend paid my mother a visit. Later, I spoke with Mom. “I was very nervous,” she said. “Why?” I asked. “Because he’s a captain in the Air Force.” “Mother, as you know, I, too, am a captain in the Air Force.” “Yes,” she said. “And you also make me nervous when you visit.”
As the general inspected our troops, he asked some of the Marines which outfit they were serving with. Ramrod straight, each would respond, “Marine Air Group 36, sir” or “Second Marine Division, General.” Then there was one young private. When the general asked, “Which outfit are you in?” the Marine replied, “Dress blues, sir, with medals!”
It was World War II—the front—and we were on high alert. Around midnight, I noticed movement behind a bush. Rather than fire a shot, I shouted out the first half of the password: “George!” I waited for whoever it was to prove he was an American and reply with the countersign, “Marshall.” Instead, silence.“George!!” Again, no reply. I lifted up my rifle and gave it one last try: “George!!!”An angry voice finally replied, “My name ain’t George!”
My father was serving in a port city in post–World War II Germany when a ship laden with GIs docked. As the soldiers disembarked, they started to jeer and boo. The reason? The local band hired to greet them was playing a popular hit of the time, “I Wonder Who’s Kissing Her Now.”
When the sergeant told our new commander that his driver could not participate in an upcoming field
maneuver because she was pregnant, the enraged commander demanded to know just how pregnant she was. The sergeant’s reply: “Completely, sir.”
The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son turned up. “How old are you?” a tenant asked. “I’m 81 years old,” he answered. The tenant shook her head. “They sure grow up fast, don’t they?” Thomas Clements, Catonsville, Maryland
