A guy and his manager go down to the docks. The manager is betting every dockworker he sees that his guy can make love to 100 women in a row, without pausing, and satisfy them all. Bets are made, and they agree that they’ll meet the next day. The next day, 100 women are lined up along the dock. The guy drops his pants and starts. True to his word, he moves from one to the next, satisfying each one without pausing: 1.. 2.. 3.. on and on he goes: 49.. 50.. 51.. He slows down somewhat: 83.... 84.... 85.... but he is still moving from one to the next, and the women are still satisfied: 97............ 98............. 99............. ...and before he can get to the last woman, he has a heart attack and dies. The manager scratches his head in puzzlement and says, “I don’t understand it! It went perfectly well at practice this morning!”
Nirjonmela Desi Forum
Talk about the things that matter to you! Wanting to join the rest of our members? Feel free to sign up today and gain full access!
A young woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally croaked. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to “Go forth and multiply.” In his final eulogy, he noted, “Thank you, Lord, they’re finally together.” Leaning over to his neighbor, one mourner asked, “Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?” The other mourner then replied, “I think he means her legs.”
Goldie was sitting on a beach in Florida, attempting to strike up a conversation with the attractive gentleman reading on the blanket beside hers. “Hello, sir,” she said. “Do you like movies?” “Yes, I do,” he responded, then returned to his book. Goldie persisted. “Do you like gardening?” The man again looked up from his book. “Yes, I do,” he said politely before returning to his reading. Undaunted, Goldie asked. “Do you like pussycats?” With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Goldie, ravaging her as
she’d never been ravaged before. As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie dragged herself to a sitting position and panted, “How did you know that was what I wanted?” The man thought for a moment and replied, “How did you know my name was Katz?
she’d never been ravaged before. As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie dragged herself to a sitting position and panted, “How did you know that was what I wanted?” The man thought for a moment and replied, “How did you know my name was Katz?
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny, Tony?” “Well, Miss, I just saw one of your garters.” “Get out of my classroom,” she yelled, “I don’t want to see you for three days.” The teacher turned back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reached to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly, there was an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny, John?” “Well, Miss, I just saw both of your garters.” Again she yel led, “Get out of my classroom!” Th is time the punishment was more severe, “I don’t want to see you for three weeks.” Embarrassed and frustrated, she had dropped the chalk when she’d turned around again. So she bent over to pick it up. This time there was a burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turned to see Nick leaving the classroom. “Where do you think you are going?” she asked. “Well, Miss, from what I just saw, my school days are over.”
A man goes into a shop and starts looking around. He sees a washer and dryer but there are no prices listed on them. He asks a salesman who says, “Five dollars for both of them.” “You’ve got to be joking!” the man says. “No, that’s the price,” the salesman says. “Do you want to buy them or not?” “Yeah, I’ll take them,” the man says. He continues to look around and sees a car stereo system with a detachable face cassette player, a CD changer, amplifier, and speakers. “How much?” he asks. “Five dollars for the system, including installation,” the salesman says. “Is it stolen?” the man asks incredulously. “No,” says the salesman, “It’s brand new. Do you want it or not?” “Certainly,” the man says. He looks around some more. As the salesman is ringing up the purchases, the man asks him, “Why are your prices so cheap?” The salesman says, “Well, the owner of the shop is at my house right now with my wife, and what he’s doing to her, I’m doing to his business!”
A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, “This is your captain. We’re on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto.” He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot says to the pilot, “Well, skipper, what are you going to do in Toronto?” “Well,” says the pilot, “first I’m going to check into the hotel and have a dump, after which I’m going to take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner. And then, after dinner and a few drinks, I’ll take her back to my room and have sex with her all night.” Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and
down the aisles trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She’s so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady’s bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says, “No need to hurry, dear. He’s got to take a shit first.”
down the aisles trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She’s so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady’s bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says, “No need to hurry, dear. He’s got to take a shit first.”
