একদম ফালতু কিছু জোকস (2 Viewers)

[Minni]

Job hunting is stressful enough without having to answer these interview questions posed by hiring managers:

"Rate yourself on a scale of one to ten how weird you are."

"How many basketballs can you fit in this room?"

"An apple costs 20 cents, an orange costs 40 cents, and a grapefruit costs 60 cents. How much is a pear?"

"How many bottles of beer are consumed in the city each week?"

 

[Minni]

A truer tweet has never been tweeted: "4:30 is to meeting as water is to boarding."

 

[Minni]

A job applicant was asked, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"

"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality—telling what’s real from what’s not."

"Okay," said the interviewer. "And what are your strengths?"

"I’m Batman."

 

[Minni]

To show his appreciation, a newly hired Japanese office worker bought his boss chocolates. But when he found the box unopened, the insulted worker went ballistic, destroying 22 computers. "I wish the company president had cared a little more," the employee’s lawyer said.

 

[Minni]

When you're interviewing for a job, you want to make an impression.

Hiring managers report that these people made one—just not the right kind:

Applicant hugged hiring manager at the end of the interview.

Applicant ate all the candy from the candy bowl while trying to answer questions.

Applicant blew her nose and lined up the used tissues on the table in front of her. Applicant wore a hat that said "Take this job and shove it."

Applicant talked about how an affair cost him a previous job.

Applicant threw his beer can in the outside trash can before coming into the reception area.

Applicant's friend came in and asked, "How much longer?"

 

[Minni]

My brother delivered prescriptions to people too ill to go out. Since the neighborhoods he visited were often unsafe, he decided to get some protection.

"Why do you need a pistol?" asked the clerk at the gun shop.

My brother had to explain, "I deliver drugs at night and carry a lot of money."

 

[Minni]

A conference call is the best way for a dozen people to say “bye” 300 times

 

[Minni]

Client: Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence. Me: You mean … the period? Client: I don’t care what you designers call it; it is unsightly....

 

[Minni]

I’ve been working on my PhD 
in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don’t necessarily see that as work. As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get 
a job there. Hoping to make a point, I asked, “Do you think they’re looking for an engineer?” “Oh, sure,” he said. “They’ll hire anybody.

 

[Minni]

An insurance agent called 
our medical office. One of our 
doctors had filled out a medically necessary leave-of-absence form 
for a patient, but, the agent said, the 
patient had altered it. The giveaway? 
The return-to-work date had been changed to February 30.