While at a convention, Bill, Jim, and Scott shared a hotel suite
on the 75th floor. After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to find that the hotel elevators were broken and that they’d have to climb all the way up to their room. “I have a way to break the monotony,” said Bill. “I’ll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way.” As they started walking up, Bill told his first joke. At the 26th floor, Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor, it was Scott’s turn. “I will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “Once there was a man who left the room key in the car.
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Me: I have a Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer that is defective. Customer Rep: Ma’am, we’ll need the exact name of the item. Do you have the box? Me: No, but it’s the Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer. Customer Rep: Ma’am, we’ll need the box so we can have the exact name of the product. Me: Hold on. I’ll run out to my garage and get the box. [Long pause ... ]
OK ... [huff ... puff] I have it. It says ... Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer. Customer Rep: Thank you for that information, ma’am.
Three guys are fishing when an angel appears. The first guy says, “I’ve suffered from back pain for years. Can you help me?” The angel touches the man’s back, and he feels instant relief. The second guy points to
his thick glasses and begs for
a cure for his poor eyesight. When the angel tosses the lenses into the lake, the man
gains 20/20 vision. As the angel turns to the third fellow, he instantly recoils and screams, “Don’t touch me! I’m on disability!”
Scene: office cafeteria line Friend: May I have pepper and salt? (Counter guy looks confused.) Friend: Sir? Pepper and salt? (Counter guy grabs a bell pepper.) Friend: No! Not that pepper. The pepper and salt … Me: You know, like you shake it on? (Coworker looks over.) Coworker: Dude! She means the salt and pepper! Counter guy: Oh! Why didn’t you just say that?
